No one really knows where N00B (The “O”s in his name are actually zeros) got his name but people believe it comes from his persona online. Probably a left over artifact from the Myspace era or what he gets called while playing online games.

N00B is the epitome of the spoiled child. He does what he wants, when he wants. Tell this guy “no” and see what happens. His obsession with getting his own way only grew worse as N00B got older. With no real parental supervision or anyone willing to keep him in line he does as he pleases. He has the attention span of a gnat and he’s a hard one to keep on track with the task at hand. He’s easily excitable and hard to keep interested. ADD is an understatement.

N00B wouldn’t be such a bad guy if it wasn’t for his overly obsessive, greedy, childish, fanatical and eagerly ways. These characteristics make him a high strung, fully powered magnet for trouble. His life of crime started way back when he was just a baby. As his mom pushed him in his stroller down the aisles at the local store, N00B would use his baby rattle with chewed up gum to reach out and grab candy and toys to hide in his diaper. N00B is an intelligent kid but his obsessive, neurological behavior has got the best of him. He continues to live at home with his mom, Midge. She is a large, full time, stay-at-home mom who spends her time laying around the house in her nightgown, eating tv dinners for breakfast, lunch, dinner and buys everything under the sun from home shopping TV shows. Doing everything in her power to keep her son from getting mad, she gives him all that he wants. One example of the N00B’s necessity to have everything happened a few summers ago. N00B stole and maxed out his mom’s credit card. He ordered a Cold War era, decommissioned MIG jet online and when the delivery rig pulled up in front of his house, his mom actually made him return it. He was put on restriction for a whole 5 days but was still allowed to play video games, drink sodas and surf the internet. And since he was such a good boy she let him off after two days of punishment. The gas mask he wears allows him to breath in large amounts of helium. It’s what gives him that weird nasal sounding voice. He’s perfected his mask so that he can adjust the helium and air mixture which allows him to sound like anyone he wants. This gives him a nice little advantage when ordering things through the phone. Lately, his new obsession with money has made him a little more extreme. Between, his online banking and credit card hacking business and running jobs for Senator Slick, N00B is one busy guy. His hunger for bigger, better “toys” is increasing too. He is saving up for something big. What it is, nobody knows? I’m sure we’ll find out soon enough.


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